Sometimes I'm the one who needs a time out

My son is such a dork..


Every night  before I go to bed I sneak into my sons  room.. tuck him in and take a moment to reflect how perfect he is.
Well tonight I go into his room and I see from the door that his shirt was hiked

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Now Adding a Sh*T My Kid Says Category!



My son… two  years old.. sweet, funny, adorable, smart, cuddly and my entire purpose for living. Also my main reason for thinking all to often “Dude wtf?!” Its not his fault. I’m his mommy and he has my sass and attitude so really can’t blame anyone but myself.  For example over Thanksgiving I found myself shouting,

“Morgan get the pickle off the kitty!” as he was squishing a pickle slice against the cats back… and then popping it into his mouth. Seriously?! I never thought that I would ever have to say that to anyone.


“Morgan do we poop in the potty?” his response? “No I poop in the bathtub.” Dear God.. Please do not poop in the bathtub!

The latest has been the adventures with the elf on the shelf…

I thought I would be super cute and fun and do this:

elf on the shelf


Day 1: The Elf on the shelf riding down the stairs on Thomas The Tank Engine and eating a cookie… Cute Right?

Well Day 2 I was looking for the elf so I could be a cute and witty mommy again and found this. Jingles hat sitting on the cookie plate.. the elf nowhere in site. Like a secret message to Santa saying ” you fuck with my train and eat my cookies one more time fat ass and I will not only kill this elf, but I will take out your entire team of elves and we will see just how many stockings you stuff old man!” Seriously… Jingle is missing I have checked all over and am pretty bummed that I cant do a day #3… I’m hoping he turns up.

When I say, “Morgan where is the elf?” he  just sits there puts his finger on his chin and goes, “ummmmm…. hmmmmm…ummmmm.” pondering.. and the elf has yet to show up.

Anywho… Just thought that this would be a nice little category to add to hopefully lighten up your day and make you giggle!

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